OK - Big warning here, this is *not* a finance entry, so you may want to skip this one.
You've been warned.
OK, you're still here. Well, as the title says, I am a newly single guy. As I am not a bar person (ok, a sorta quiet professional - go figure), how is a man to meet women? Well I was looking online at the personals from the local paper (Its a large city paper). While I admit I was hopeful I kept my expectations in check as I read. And its a good thing I did.
What did I find? Well the women occassionally sound ok, but often not. I can accept that, I mean if you are expecting perfection, you are going to be lonely, right? But then they often state what they want in a man, and I just shake my head after reading it all. After I read the laundry list of traits they want I realize they want to meet a woman, not a man. A woman that looks like the Marlboro man. Are these women totally clueless? I asked this of a few women I do think highly of, and they agree that what they are expecting to find is crazy.
I wouldn't want to go out with these women - I would want to run the other way ... fast. Ugh, I should be ok and find someone for me, but when you read that ... I can't think of a good word for it.... it sure can get you discouraged.
OK, back to the regularly scheduled finances. 
Just who do they think they are going to get?
July 11th, 2006 at 02:53 am
July 11th, 2006 at 03:31 am 1152588705
I disagree!...I just want someone whose eyes light up when he sees me at the end of the day and, when he hugs me, for a fraction of a second, I want him to forget about all his worries...
But, hey, I know what you mean about unrealistic expectations...and about bars...I have friends that go to bars to try to meet guys, and then complain because they are irresponsible party animals...(huh?? You find a guy at a BAR, of course you'll find someone that likes to party!)...
My complaint is actually that guys here in ES want either a mother or a free maid!
July 11th, 2006 at 03:48 am 1152589718
July 11th, 2006 at 12:52 pm 1152622335
I'm personally not too eager to get back into the scene though.
However, I agree with Flexo to just participate in social activities that interest you. Along the way, you might meet someone, but if not, it's not a total loss as you're still doing something you like.
July 11th, 2006 at 01:55 pm 1152626105
of course 7 years 3 kids and a wedding later, I think we are in for the long haul..
oh and he is perfect
So go do what you like, work on being the best you you can be (whatever that means for you) and ignore the desperate gals..one perfect gal will fall in your lap one day when you least expect it. and in the meantime you will be having fun
July 11th, 2006 at 02:49 pm 1152629365
I think the point that I should enjoy myself for now, and someone will come along is probably the most reasonable idea. Until then I will work on my finances so when she does show up I won't fret about my finances!
July 11th, 2006 at 05:25 pm 1152638740
July 12th, 2006 at 12:10 am 1152663035
I look for that too.
July 13th, 2006 at 04:32 pm 1152808357
July 14th, 2006 at 03:32 am 1152847961
The one who will be surprised (but not overly so) when you come over and talk to her instead of her friend, but give you a smile and a nod of encouragement. The one who will be very good at listening, who will laugh when you are genuinely funny and raise an eyebrow when you are not. The one who doesn't expect you to change as long as you can do your own laundry and doesn't mind cooking if you don't mind cleaning up. The girl who will mow the lawn if you vacuum the rug and sweep the kitchen.
The woman who has stopped looking and then when she least expects it, in walks you. Find her. She's the one.
July 15th, 2006 at 02:02 am 1152928923
July 15th, 2006 at 09:27 am 1152955670
My husband was the "everyone's friend, nobody's boyfriend" for most of his teen years and I was the quiet girl in the shadow of my gorgeous friend, who had quit looking. Well, come September we will be celebrating the 16th anniversary of our 1st date and we've been married 10 years. It's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for, but in a good way.
July 15th, 2006 at 11:28 pm 1153006109
A friend and fate threw us together...I was working in the lab when the machine malfunctioned, and a close friend asked DH to take me outside for a walk to get some air and clear my lungs. Close friend said he knew we were meant for each other.
7 days later we were engaged. DH may have been a geek, pocket protector and all, but he was and is my heart and soul. 24 years...and they said we'd never make it.
Hang in there, you never know.
July 18th, 2006 at 04:32 am 1153197177
DH and I are going on 17 years and let me tell you, it has its ups and downs, but when you hit the downs, you pull up the boot straps and go up again!
How did I know he was the one? I could look at him and not see getting married or having a family, but being together old and gray, farting around in a RV and kissing grandbabies! Its a beautiful picture.... if we don't kill each other before then.....
July 19th, 2006 at 08:35 pm 1153341340
I don't blame you for getting sick of that crap. To be fair to them, many women are never consulted on their opinions or desires ever, so they make up for it in fantasy. What they're really saying is, wouldn't it be nice to meet somebody with this impossible combination of extremely picky and specific qualities. Nobody in their right mind thinks they're going to find exactly what they want, in men or anything else, in this lifetime.
I believe you that a lot of these broads are narcissistic to beat the band. But random interactions with guys they meet every day aren't working for them. So they think they can conjure what they want out of thin air. What they should really do is write a romance novel. Reality is a different animal.
That said, don't give up. I didn't meet my dear hubby until I was 38. And I know it's scant comfort, but those who've said it'll happen when you're not looking--they're right ;-)
July 28th, 2006 at 07:11 pm 1154113896
Well, i think i can top you ALL as a never-married, heterosexual 46-year old woman. Ha! I only have the nerve to announce that here as i am in a committed relationship that actually looks to be lasting, tho we're not without our share of not insignificant problems.
I envy those who got engaged after 7 days or a few months. You are the lucky ones! The rest of us dysfunctional rejects have to work at it.
Don't give up and be receptive at all times! But don't wait for it "to happen," either. I firmly believe that if you want something, as with all things in life, don't wait for it to fall in your lap...go for it, pursue it, join the groups that atttract eligible women, a bicycling group would be good, or Corporate Volunteers of America, the library book club maybe....
July 29th, 2006 at 10:19 pm 1154211541