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A bad day ala Bliss Hunter

March 6th, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Some days things don't go right. After doing early morning errands, I returned and tried to open my garage door. As I lifted it, it jamed and I hear all types of noises inside. After some effort I got it open a few feet and was able to get in. Here one of the two spring / pulley / counterweight mechanisms came totally apart, with the spring flying to the other side of the garage, and some parts on the floor. Now it is extremely hard to open the door, and without the spring there is nothing holding it back from crashing back down. I found all the parts except the pulley, so until I can find where that spun off to, I can't try to fix it (if I can even do it by myself!).

And then my Apprentice Bliss Hunter moment came a few hours after that. I had talked with a woman online off and on for a few months, and we met two weeks ago where I paid for a modest lunch, and then we talked and walked for about two hours afterwards. I had a wonderful time, it was very interesting, and she seemed to really enjoy it. When we were leaving she made a point to give me a card and wrote her cell phone number on the back. This week I got back in touch with her and as she was stressed at work, I suggested since the weather was nice this weekend, lets go to the museums Sunday. We could take some sandwiches and a drink, and have a few relaxing hours. She says "That sounds wonderful" (on Thursday), and then today (Saturday) I get the message from her that she can tell we're totally incompatible and wishes me well.

I had very little emotional baggage attached at this point, but I soooooo understand Bliss Hunter's feelings when it comes to dating. If she had been less than happy with me when we met, I could certainly understand. Not everyone connects, of course I get it. But what is it with them having the same values as you, even having good dates, then just pretending it was the opposite, not wanting to even see if something special happens? I'm not really stressed about this, as somehow I found this was going too well to be real. Still the last year has totally jaded my view towards dating. And certainly towards the cries of women that the good men aren't out there. Spare me the tears, I just ain't falling for it any more. These women have issues, and I simply don't get what they are.

Apprentice Bliss Hunter, if you're out there, you're not crazy, and you're not alone. Keep your chin up, and do what you feel makes sense, not what others tell you. In the end all you can do is make yourself happy, at least that's something.

9 Responses to “A bad day ala Bliss Hunter”

  1. toyguy1963 Says:

    Hey I can totally relate as well. At least now I know the proper name to call it. I have had my share of the 'Bliss Hunter Moments'.

  2. LuckyRobin Says:

    There are plenty of good guys out there. I think the problem tends to be that too many women say they want Mr. Good Guy, but what they actually want is Mr. Perfect, and he's the one that doesn't actually exist. Unfortunately he's also the reason so many good guys are dismissed or overlooked. I've been with my Mr. Good Guy for almost 20 years and too often I've seen his good guy friends dismissed for the most trivial of reasons, like crooked teeth or an old car. My female friends whine about being alone and jealous of my relationship and yet they won't give men just like my husband a chance. Burns me up. There are still some good, sensible women out there, though. I hope you find one.

  3. Apprentice Bliss Hunter Says:

    Sorry to hear about that Single Guy !!

    Yes... Dating is a Mine Field... But I feel you are a really great guy and you are a great catch..

    It's great to see you didn't get too emotionally involved early on so you were able to walk away relatively unharmed... although a bit disillusioned with the dating game.

    I think it really is, from a man's point of view, a game of numbers... It's just racking up those dates.... the good, the bad and the mediocre ones

    In my opinion, women ride on her emotions and once they get the feeling someone isn't right for them ( and they may not even have a specific reason for that feeling) then it's game over.

    I feel your pain !!

    From the "Pick-up" books I'm read, Women have very little time for Nice Guys. They want someone with a spark and a little bit of excitement. So I've been concentrating on reserving the good parts of me for that deserving female and not every woman who crosses that path...they have to earn that. I think if you're too nice ( and I'm not saying this is what happened in your case - this is just my experience) then the woman involved becomes bored.

    I know how you feel Man ! Keep your chin up too ! :-)

  4. bennyhoff Says:

    ABH, I was going to respond to your posting with something similar to what you wrote here, so I am glad to see you have the same understanding of women that I do. The first time or two this happened I was uspet, not from an emotional hurt, but more of a feeling of what is referred to in marketing as "bait and switch". But now I see they are running on emotion and don't want dependable, but instead exciting, no matter what they may say. So its their loss if they miss out on all I bring to the table. But yeah, I am changing my approach to this and lots of things in my life (but not to saving money!).

  5. monkeymama Says:

    I wouldn't read too much into it. Things just don't work out sometimes and there are a billion reasons why.

    Like, if you had such a great time, why did you wait 2 weeks to call her again? If I am reading this right - that could be the problem -right there.

    Hang in there - I do wish you good luck.

  6. creditcardfree Says:

    Definitely call in a professional on that garage door, those things are heavy!

  7. Waterfall Says:

    I think it's mostly chemistry that determines whether you connect with someone. Women also want a mate who seems healthy and semi-successful. Subconsciously that might be the reason they would reject the guy with crooked teeth and old car.

  8. frugaltexan75 Says:

    Speaking for myself, I want dependable. The thing that will drive me the most crazy (not in a good way) is when a guy is flighty -- doesn't follow through on what he says.

    I'm sorry the lady treated you like that. There could be a great many reasons why she did an about face like that, but in essence it was just plain rude. Even if she truly felt like you two didn't click, she should have had the courtesy to follow through with the plans she'd agreed with. Then she could have said something like, I had a nice time with you, but I'm just so busy/stressed/whatever right now that I can't focus on dating or a relationship. Of course it would've been even better if she'd had the courage to tell you upfront, before she agreed to plans, that she wasn't "feeling" it.

    (Can you tell I'm big on follow through? Big Grin)

    Most of the men I've dated have been "good" guys. One could be considered a "bad" guy, but that didn't last very long (after he asked me to lie for him!!) I much prefer to date men who have the qualities I'd want in a life time partner (dependable, respectful of me/themselves/others, sense of humor, responsible, Christian in practice (not just words), good financial sense, etc.). It's a waste of time to date otherwise (in my opinion).

  9. bennyhoff Says:

    To those that responded, thanks. Just a quick update:

    I found all the parts to the garage door pulley system and was able to put it back together. Not the easiest to do, it really is a 2-3 man job. I realized I could use some wood clamps to hold the pulley on the door guides while I streched out the spring as best I could to reconnect it. Took 2 tries, but now it works, and actually better than before. I attribute that tightening up a number of bolts on the hinges of the door while I was checking it out, so there is no more binding. So I'm good to go.

    As for the date, no date, then no relationship story ... a few things. I did contact her 2 days after the original meeting by email, a day later by phone though I could only leave a message. She wrote the next day and appologized, saying she was ill and went to bed early. And the in between weekend I was out of town visiting relatives, so meeting then was out. Point is, I wasn't ignoring her. As for the question of health and money, I workout every day and my co-workers say I'm in fabulous shape (my BMI was measured last fall as excellent), and money didn't come up at all at any time (actually our jobs did come up for a minute or two, but I wouldn't mind discussing finances - I have a good paying job, house almost paid, and plenty of savings - I'm not stressing over money, I just make sure to watch it closely).

    As the saying goes... "Whatever". I do like to learn if I did something wrong, but I don't see it, so I just have to drop it. I am planning (ie. already paid) on going to a singles bowling party this weekend. You never know, and in any case, I hope I can have a decent time.

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