Home > I expect to be single a very long time.

I expect to be single a very long time.

June 22nd, 2009 at 09:00 pm

Damn, if that isn't a depressing title, I don't know what is. As has been reported here by other single guys, meeting single women with, well shall we say common sense and some manners, is so near impossible that it really has effected me mentally this past month. (oh, plus the fact I was going through the dirt and junk of my father's estate this weekend didn't help.)

Before this month I just concentrated on family issues and meeting someone was sorta outta sight, outta mind, which seemed to work for me. But with my life getting back to normal (finally) it is just getting to me being alone all the time, and this time its affecting much more than it ever did. You go online at these match making sites and all you get is obvious scams its ridiculous. I hear its the same for women, but I just don't buy it. And worse, I live in a supposed area of many more single women than single guys. Really? Are they part of the packs of girls doing their best Valley Girl impersonations in the malls while they spend, spend, spend? If so, man, shoot me now.

And to end this on a somewhat better point of view, I have been trying to keep up the with P90X regimine (see my last post) and now I splurged on one (and only one!) of their high priced recovery drink mix canisters. I'll be trying it this week and coming back with a review. And btw, I have lost almost 10 pounds in two weeks, and there is starting to show signs of the workouts.

Well wish me luck, I haven't given up yet. Is expecting a reasonable woman my age too much to ask?

10 Responses to “I expect to be single a very long time.”

  1. whitestripe Says:

    well - i have nothing to add on the single guy status, but just wanted to say, it IS the same for girls too on those match making sites, even if you don't think so. A friend of mine, T, has been on five dates from a matchmaking site. The first guy, 28 and lived locally, seemed nice, they wrote quite a few emails before meeting up. She turns up, and he there was no way he would have been a day under 50 years old. (She's 23). Ummm????
    Second guy, she goes on one date with him and he seemed nice. They make a plan to meet again, but she is unable to make it due to some serious family issues. He sends her numerous texts saying that if she makes a plan, she should stick to it, and that HE was ready to meet up with her, so she should be. He then asked her to meet with him on a Monday morning at 10am. She said she would be at work, and he replied to forget it, if she wasn't going to take the time to out of her schedule for him he wasn't interested.
    Those were the worst, but the other three weren't far behind.

  2. miclason Says:

    Well, if you're thinking of setting up a Lonely Hearts Club, count me in! I don't think I'll ever find a guy here... considering that, sadly, and begging forgiveness from the many wonderful fathers there must be out here in ES, but most guys don't even take care of their own children, much less one that isn't theirs... not many guys here want an instant family!... not to mention that, here, guys in their 20's want 20 year olds, guys in their 30;s want 20 year olds, guys in their 40's want 20 year olds and, even men in their 50's and 60's want 20 year olds.. which, of course, means I'm waaaaaaaaay past my "expiration date", as my sister puts it! Oh, yeah, and not just any 20 year old, they want model types (think Shallow Hal!)

    Oh, and, yes, it IS the same for girls... one of our friends joined one of those sites and, after a while, the guy started asking her to join in on his wonderful business for which all he needed was the $$$ to get started...

  3. Single Guy Says:

    Well I won't say I wouldn't mind a nice 25 year old, but I am realistic, and truthfully it doesn't bother me as long as she *tries* to keep in shape. And we'd have so much in common anyway, it would have to be a good thing. And I am willing to work with someone with kids. No guarantees, but I will not reject her out of hand. Kids from hell, and yeah, that would probably doom it there.

    I think part of today's rant is that I am trying to go out on a date with someone local I met on one of these sites. She's my age, says she has kids, has complained about finding a man that isn't a loser, and it seems to me is playing hard to get (says she would like to meet, but won't answer questions about meeting locally where I will take her out for dinner). All I can say is "Seriously????". Maybe there is a good reason for the stall, but I have zero patience dealing with those that want to play around and aren't what they say they are.

    I dunno, I have been burned too often by too many women being immature and lying to me. My attitude is "If you don't like me, please say so up front and go. And oh yeah, be honest, ok?" Is it too much to ask for them to behave like adults? Or is expecting honesty a childish attitude I have? (ok, time to go before I stress myself out again.)

  4. frugaltexan75 Says:

    Ugh! Don't get me started on the matchmaking websites. Granted, I have met a few people on them which developed into relationships, albeit not long-term.

    For what it's worth - guys just don't seem to read the profiles.

    I put very basic info, such as age range, race, live in the USA ... and I get someone 20+ years older than me, 'technically' separated, and in another country. (Oh, and I remember one guy who wrote a really nice email and everything one time - but was a good 20 years older than me -- I responded and told him as politely as possible that I wasn't interested. He spat back at me with several notes telling me what a terrible person I was. Yep, that's the way to change a persons mind.)

    I wish I had advice on where to meet someone - cuz if I knew that ..... well then I'd take up my own advice.

    There's lots of days where I see all the happy couples, or hear of friends having kids, it gets hard. Then again, I see so many marriages failing or in deep trouble .. and I wonder if it's worth the trouble and effort to even think about it.

    So anyway, I feel your pain. Finding someone who shares your fiscal values, on top of whatever else you hold near and dear, seems a little like 'The Impossible Dream" sometimes.

  5. CouponAddict Says:

    Honey, Single can be AWESOME! Wish I was in your shoes right now. Trust me stop looking, stop trying and it will happen.

  6. whitestripe Says:

    can i just say - don't get frustrated by her not wanting to meet just yet. no offence, but there are LOTS of men on those sites that are creeps. years ago, people might not have thought about the dangers of meeting someone you didnt know - but today, can you SERIOUSLY blame her if she is hesitant to meet you just yet? give her a break. atleast you know shes not stupid to begin with if she isnt jumping at the chance of meeting you just yet and waiting to get to know you a bit better.

  7. Single Guy Says:

    Thanks everyone for the replys. To whitestripe, the thought I was rushing had gone through my mind many times. And if she simply said "I would like to wait on that for a while" I would have been a-ok with it. Even if she changed her mind, just say so, and I'd be fine. Thats what I don't get. Oh well, thanks again for the encouragement. I'll try to crank it down some, if only so I can relax some.

  8. BCN Finance Blog Says:

    My husband and I met on AOL and have been happily married for 12 years. Don't give up, it is possible. But please be patient. I met my husband in later April, and we didn't meet face to face until June. These things take time.

  9. Broken Arrow Says:

    Well dude, at least you're not alone? Doesn't help, does it? I understand your pain though. Maybe that doesn't help either.

  10. Single Guy Says:

    BA, thanks for the commiseration. Just having a guy say they know how it goes does help. Maybe not tons, but I'll take it for now.

    I'm going to write to her and let her know that based on how she wrote things I thought I wasn't pushing it, but she needed to let me know if she felt that way, which she didn't. And she can know that I won't bother her if thats what she wants. I am not into being a nuisance with someone else. I have more dignity in myself than to do that. (Plus I think the exercises last night helped to get me in the right frame of mind. 100 minutes of Yoga will do that!)

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